The Hidden Light

Although the world is filled with billions of people, each of whom has a unique personality and story, there is a common thread that weaves its way through every person's life.

Everyone, on some level, is seeking an experience of happiness — of peace, empowerment, security, and connection. Like sunflowers that rotate toward the sun, we each make choices in our lives that attempt to lead us toward happiness.

A common message from many spiritual teachings is that the happiness we seek is available now, right in this moment, in limitless supply. Peace, empowerment, security, and connection are facets of an inner light that may be hidden from our awareness, but never truly lost. Once we accept that concept, we can begin the process of opening our minds to what is within us.

Of course, many people do believe that the light has gone. Even those of us on a spiritual path may drop into this type of thinking quite frequently. Once we lose touch with our inner light, we tend to fall into patterns that attempt to reconcile ourselves with the shadows.

Let me share three examples of these patterns.

When the Light Seems to Vanish

At the lowest level is a mindset that says, "There is no light. There is no hope of happiness."

When we fall into this type of thinking, the mind immediately begins to generate a sense of hopelessness and helplessness — hallmarks of depression.

I sometimes hear this type of attitude couched in a cynical pride of sorts. A person might say: "Face the facts: life is meaningless." "You have to accept that no one is watching out for you." "Don't be naive — people suck." And so forth.

Even though people in this mindset seem to be "content" with these beliefs, I usually see a hint that they secretly hope that they are wrong. There seems to be a tiny wish that someone might successfully challenge them, and prove them wrong.

But these beliefs can become quite entrenched, and the mind can prevent counter-evidence from emerging. When that happens, the light — the experience of happiness — does seem to have vanished. And every day spent without a glimpse of it seems to reinforce the idea that it is gone.

At a second level is a mindset that says, "You can find happiness, sure. But you have to fight for it."

This produces not depression, but anger and conflict. Growing up in the New York City area, I remember almost everyone (including myself) holding onto this type of thinking.

There is an advantage to this type of thinking over the previous one. Peace, empowerment, security, connection — these experiences can be found, says this mindset. But only if you battle for them.

Win the promotion, attract the right partner, buy the house or car, and you can access the light. Lose to your competition, and you fall into the shadows until you win again.

"You have to look out for number-one," "Failure isn't an option," and other competitive thoughts tend to populate this type of mindset.

The third level is one that I have seen quite frequently in my therapy practice. In this third mindset, the light is available; it is not gone. Further, it's not something that you have to compete with people for.

But there is one thing that you must do: you must act the right way in order to access it.

Raise your kids right, and the light emerges. Do a great job on a work project, and the brightness shines. Act with kindness toward others, and the rays of heaven break through the clouds.

But if you make a mistake, act selfishly, or fail to reach your potential — well, then the light immediately vanishes, and is replaced with an experience of shame, guilt, and inadequacy.

As you can imagine, this leads to endless forms of anxiety and pressure. The light seems mercurial, and entirely dependent on various forms of perfectionistic behavior. It's here, shining — then gone, with a mis-stated word or fumbled task. Through hard work, you can earn the light back; then, with another mistake, it's gone.

Although the thoughts in this mindset are often hidden, they typically include forms like, "You have to earn the right to be happy," "If you succeed, you can relax," and "You just have to try harder; then you will be acceptable."

These three mindsets produce depression, anger, and anxiety. All of them, you could say, are conceptions of the spiritual light. Is the light gone? (Depression.) Or does it need to be competed-for? (Anger.) Or earned through right behavior? (Anxiety.)

Or is there a different way entirely? This is the what many spiritual teachings say.

The Alternative

What if the spiritual light — of grace, ease, and wisdom — is available to everyone, always? What if everyone contains within them a place of peace, empowerment, security, and connection? And what if we all have the ability to keep those experiences flowing perpetually?

If we begin by accepting this as a concept, we can begin to do the work to uncover the experience we seek.

Perhaps there is an area of your life where the light seems to have vanished. I invite you to think of that area, and say to yourself, "Perhaps the light isn't really gone here. Perhaps it is just hidden from my awareness."

Consider that a sense of peace and comfort may be available to enter that area of your life right now. Take a moment to hold open your willingness to experience your inner light while you think of that area.

If, as you do this, you begin to experience a sense of peace, comfort, and gentle inner wisdom about actions (if any) to take — wonderful!

However, that may not happen right away. Instead, you may find that the mind generates some resistance to that light.

If so, take a moment to notice what form that resistance takes.

Do you feel a sense of pressure, anxiety, worry, or self-criticism? If so, the mind may be trying to convince you that you have to earn the experience you seek. If this occurs, you can say:

     I am willing to experience the peace of my inner light,
     Even if I have done nothing to earn it.
     It is given to me freely,
     And I am willing to accept it.

Then release your grasp on any self-pressuring thoughts while you invite a sense of peace and comfort to emerge in your awareness. Rest in your willingness to receive this experience.

If you instead feel a sense of irritation, frustration, or conflict, the mind might be telling you that you have to battle someone or something for the light. If this happens, you can say:

     Thankfully, I don't have to fight for the light.
     It is within me in limitless supply.
     I am willing to open to it.
     I am willing to release the belief that I have to fight for it.

Feel the sense of relief that nothing has to be fought-against in order to create an opening for the light. If there are constructive actions to take, the wisdom of the light will guide you toward those action steps. But you don't have to fight for that wisdom; you need but create a quiet space for it to emerge.

If instead you have a sense that the light is inaccessible or impossible to access; that it has been away from awareness so long that it may never be found; or that the process of trying is hopeless; then you may want to say:

     The light does indeed seem to have vanished.
     But perhaps, just for a moment, I can open to hint of it.
     Just a slight sense of comfort, just for a moment.
     I am willing to open my heart to a touch of that experience.

Even just a tiny experience of warmth and comfort is a victory. Even the simple act of taking a few minutes to practice is a success — regardless of result. Every moment of practice is a step toward opening to the wise mind.

Finally, to expand the experience, you may want to look around at the people in your life (or simply envision them, if they're not physically present) and say:

     Each of these people carries the light I seek.
     None of them have been disconnected from it.
     They may not be aware of the light in them,
     But for a moment I am willing to see it.

Then rest in a sense of appreciation that everyone around you brings the inner light with them, just as you do. This can be a very strengthening experience.

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