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Excerpted from What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know by John Gray. Copyright 1994 by John Gray. Excerpted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.  All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.  HTML and web pages copyright by SpiritSite.com.
 


"How can a wife be expected to be relaxed, sensitive, and pleasing to her husband when an hour before she's had to fight a man for a cab?"

John Gray, What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know, Part 2

Times Have Changed

The social and economic changes of the last forty years have enormously affected traditional male and female roles. Women's leaving the home and entering the workforce has diminished men's traditional value to women. Increasingly independent and self-sufficient, contemporary women no longer feel the same need for men to provide for or protect them.

A modern woman charts her own destiny and pays her own bills. When in danger, she can pull out her Mace or call the police. Most important, she now has much more control over when to have children and how many she wants. Until the discovery of the birth control pill, and the widespread availability of contraceptives, women were biologically determined to have children and to be dependent on men. No more.

We are just beginning to comprehend the changes in relationships that have resulted from the widespread use of birth control and the following sexual revolution. We are living in a time of dramatic transition and sexual tension.

In a sense, men no longer have the job they held for centuries. They are no longer valued and appreciated as providers and protectors. Although they continue to do what they have always done, it suddenly isn't enough to make their partners happy. Women require something else, something more than their mothers did.

At the same time, women are overworked. Not only are they mothers, nurturers, and homemakers, but now they are also providers and protectors. They are no longer protected from the harsh and cold realities of the work world outside the home. How can a wife be expected to be relaxed, sensitive, and pleasing to her husband when an hour before she's had to fight a man for a cab? While women today no longer want to wait on a man at the end of a day, men still want what their fathers wanted--to be waited on.

Times have changed, and we have no choice but to change with them. A new job description is required in relationships. New skills must be learned if a man is to feel needed and appreciated by his mate. A new awareness is required of women if they are to continue working side by side with men, then come home to a loving and nurturing relationship. New skills are required to remain feminine and also be strong.

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