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Excerpted from Happily Even After by Alan Cohen. Copyright 1999 by Alan Cohen. Excerpted by permission of Hay House, Inc.  All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. HTML and web pages copyright by SpiritSite.com.
 

"You cannot get on with creating better future relationships unless you come to terms with past ones."

  Alan Cohen, Happily Even After, Part 4

It is not only possible to enjoy a lasting and rewarding relationship with your ex; it is inevitable, for two reasons:

1. Once we are in relationship, we are in relationship forever.

2. All enmity must eventually give way to healing.

"But," you may sincerely contend, "you don't know about my relationship-I don't ever want to see that horrible jerk again, let alone be friends."

You don't need to ever see that "horrible jerk" again, but for your own well-being, you need to come to perceive the relationship in a way that will empower you so you won't feel drained and emotionally poisoned every time you think of your former partner. No matter what he or she is doing or feeling, you must find a way out of pain and anger for your own peace of mind.

You cannot get on with creating better future relationships unless you come to terms with past ones; otherwise, life is just one long Groundhog Day in which you keep attracting the same kind of partner--different actor, same story. Are you ready to write a new script with a more satisfying ending?

You don't deserve to live in pain, fear, or resentment, and you don't need to. In spite of what we have been taught and experienced ...

We can create our partings in any way we choose.

Rather than storming away in a cloud of resentment, you can use your experience to build what could be one of the greatest friendships of a lifetime, and become a springboard to healthier and happier relationships in all aspects of your life.

Even if your relationship did not have a happy ending, you can have a healthy ending. More and more couples are deciding that being in harmony is more important than being right. As a culture, we are participating in an all-important cultural shift from torturous endings to more soul-satisfying connections. We are paving the way for relationship completions that add to the quality of our lives, rather than destroying them. There is hope for all relationships, including yours. Nothing is so botched up that it cannot be restored to kindness and dignity through sincerity, caring, and love. Are you open to a greater possibility for love, starting now?

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